One Day At A Time

Today is just another reminder... one day at a time. Recovery from a liver transplant is anything but black and white; it's grey, purple, blue and red.

Ron had another difficult night and rough morning. His back pain is keeping him from getting and staying comfortable at night. He can't seem to sleep more than 2 hours at a time, sometimes he is back up after 20 minutes, trying to walk out the discomfort. By about mid/late morning he seems to do a little better, and he is able to move about a bit easier.

We made our way slowly from labs to support group to clinics. Today was good because the appointments were scheduled pretty far a part so he was able to rest in between. We are fortunate enough to be so close to the hospital. I cant imagine having to try to get to those appointments from further away. But as each day progresses I have confidence that these short walks will soon be as easy for him as they are for me.

The most difficult part of this experience for me is not understanding the pain and physical recovery but understanding the emotional impact that being in pain and being unable to move in the ways he used to. Sometimes looking forward to the future of a full recovery isn't enough to cover the frustrations of this current moment. He is managing well, although he has as many good hours as he has bad hours. Today was a roller coaster day, still through the frustration, exhaustion and pain, I still see those wonderful moments where Ron's beautiful spirit shines though. I am living off those moments.

Ron always says, I came in knowing. In a way is right, I met Ron in the midst of this bump in the road, but I tell him I didn't have a choice. I fell in love with him long before I was ready to accept the responsibilities that were to come. And here I am... unprepared and unable to do anything but love him completely. So that is what I intend to do... Love Him Completely.